When I set up this blog, I was living in Lanzarote, trying to get myself something permanent over there to be able to live full time. While I had ended up with a job offer, as well as the ability to continue my teaching online, I just couldn't make moving there permanently work.
I was devastated. All my focus last summer was trying to find ways to stay in my second home. However, after so long of being there, completing my MSc research there, meeting so many incredible people, and exploring the beautiful island, I realised the next step for me was to go home.
Once I got home, I was so lost. I had it described to me that I was like a caterpillar in a cocoon. When caterpillars are in a cocoon, they turn to complete goo during their transformation, I was (figuratively) sat in this goo, wondering where on earth I was going to go next. I didn't know where I wanted to go in life, and as I was looking for jobs, I ended up finding one that was a casual job. I thought it would be something, just to keep me going for a bit while I figured out my next move.
I ended up with an interview, a call that afternoon of the interview (while I was out pumpkin picking) to say I had it. Within two weeks, I ended up with the organisation messaging me about a new part time job they had going and asking if I'd like to apply for that. I ended up with an interview for that, got a call that afternoon after the interview to say I had it (while I was out at a Christmas market - An FYI: it's quite ironic accepting a job offer when you've got George Michael singing about getting his heart torn up the year before).
After a few months of being part time, I ended up applying for another job within the same organisation for a full time position.
I love the place so much, the people I work with are incredible. I've even been able to share stories with them about how I got knocked down and we all have similar. I hate that so many people have been through some of the same stuff I have and have been set back, but there's something healing about being able to talk to like minded people who understand the industry we are in and how crazy the world had got.
I ended up gaining back a passion I thought I had lost, a job that was just going to be a 'while I figure out my next move' has become 'my next move'. I've been lucky enough to go back to Lanzarote a handful of times since and seen my friends out there, and I know the island isn't going anywhere. It will always be there to welcome me home. While I do keep looking at if anything has changed for me to get out permanently, I'm so happy and passionate about how my life is now, it's becoming a plan for another day.
Sometimes we aren't sure where our next move is going to come from. Especially when you have to pack up a life you really wanted, one you've dreamed about but couldn't make it work for whatever reason. As the saying goes, 'Don't be afraid to start again. You're not starting from the scratch, you're starting from experience'.
We always think that our life will start from 'our next pay check', 'our next holiday', 'our next day off', when we have 'X', 'when we have 'Y'. But our lives are happening right now. Take a deep breath, you don't have to have anything figured out right now. There's no one right path in life, no matter what society tells us. You don't have to follow any kind of 'norm', it's ok to do something now that I'm a few years time isn't right for you. It's ok to take a while getting back up after being knocked down. Sit in the goo, and take a moment.
One day, I might be sat in this moment again, with a reason to change my entire life. But, I will be reminded that no matter what, I will be okay.
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